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Wedding
Invitation Etiquette
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There
is a certain degree of etiquette which surrounds most of the rights of
passage in life, not the least of which is the institution of marriage.
Wedding invitations in particular have strict rules of etiquette attached to
them. If your wedding is being planned "by the book" then you will want to
heed them.
Traditional
weddings call for traditional invitations. The following guideline,
excerpted from The Bride's Wedding Planner will provide you with all
you need to know about wedding invitations:
On the
traditional invitation, names are written in full (no nicknames, initials,
or abbreviations except for Mr. Mrs. Ms. or Dr.).
Numbers,
including those in short addresses, are spelled out. Likewise the date and
time of the ceremony are written out.
Invitations
are almost always issued in the name of the bride's parents, even if she
lives away from home or has been married before. If her parents are
deceased, her guardian, a close relative or family friend may sponsor the
wedding. When only one parent is living, the invitations are issued in his
or her name alone. If the bride's parents are divorced, the name of only one
parent - usually the one who raised her - appears on the invitation. If the
parent has remarried, the step-parents name also goes on the first line
followed by his/her daughter's to indicate relationship.
Invitations
should be addressed by hand, using a neat, legible script. Use black ink if
possible to match the printing. Some people prefer to have their envelopes
done by a Calligrapher.
The wedding guests
full name(s) go on the outside the envelope, followed by the address. The inside
envelope carries the last name only (Mr. and Mrs. John Doe) and nothing
else.
For a church
or temple ceremony "the honour of your presence is requested". For a
non-church wedding or reception it is "the pleasure of your company".
You may
request a reply to the reception with "R.S.V.P." or "Please respond" in the
lower left corner of the invitation. This is known as "Corner Copy" and
there is usually an extra charge for this. (However, it
is usually better to order a matching RESPOND card when you order your
invitations. Respond cards include an envelope for the return. It is polite
to put a stamp on the envelope so your guests do not have to pay to reply. Added by E.R. -
www.thepartyblock.com )
Each adult
member of the family receives an invitation, as well as dates of single
guests.
The phrase
"and family" is never used. Instead, invited children's names go on a line
under their parents names on the inside envelope.
* Most of this
article is from the Spring 1997 TV Facts Bridal Guide distributed in Salem
NH.
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USE OF HONOR VS.
HONOUR
HONOR
You are
cordially invited to attend
a Retirement
Party
in honor of Bob
Johnson
HONOUR
Mr. and Mrs
Robert Johnson
request the
honour of your presence
at the marriage
of their daughter
NOTE: Some people choose to use
HONOR anyway.
Church and Non-Church Ceremonies
For Church Ceremonies:
request the honour of your presence
For Non-Church Ceremonies:
the pleasure of your company is requested
Dates:
Wedding dates and times are
usually written out:
on Saturday,
the twentieth of May
Two thousand
and eighteen
Times:
Wedding dates and times are
usually written out:
at half past
two o'clock in the afternoon
( instead of
2:30 p.m.)
or
at six o'clock
in the evening
or
at one-thirty in the afternoon
( instead of
1:30 p.m.)
The Bride's Guide to Ordering
Wedding Stationery and
Generally Accepted Rules of Wedding Etiquette
Courtesy of Regency Thermographers
Your Wedding Stationery...will be a reflection of your good taste and
personal style.
The Bride's Guide is intended to show you beautiful wedding stationery with
the socially correct usage.
Wedding Invitations
The Invitation is the most important part of your Wedding
Invitation Ensemble. It shows who is getting married, the day, time, year
and location and hosts. The Invitation is mailed approximately six to eight
weeks before the ceremony. Invitations may be issued by the parents of the
bride or by the bride and groom themselves. If one parent is deceased, the
surviving parent may issue the invitation. If both parents are deceased, a
guardian, a close relative or a family friend may serve as the sponsor and
issue the invitation. Examples of these formats are provided below.
Invitation Envelopes
Traditionally, Wedding Invitations and Announcements have two
envelopes, an inner and an outer. The Invitation is inserted into the inner
envelope facing the back flap, with the names of those invited handwritten
on the front. The inner envelope is addressed "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" (first
names omitted), without address. Avoid using the phrase "and family". All
family members should be included, for example: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", "Julie
and Andrew". After the inner envelope is properly addressed, place it in an
outer envelope which is sealed and addressed. The inner envelope usually
does not have a gummed flap and is often ordered with a colored lining.
Colored envelope linings are made available to you at a slight additional
charge. Select from the lining colors shown. The inner envelope is then
inserted into the outer envelope,
which is sealed and mailed. To assure that the invited guests receive your
invitation, we recommend that you have your return address printed on the
outer envelope flap. Envelopes should never be typed but should be written
by hand.
Abbreviations of Courtesy Titles
The abbreviations for Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Dr. are used as proper
titles. Always write out titles for clergy, judges and military officers.
Addresses
House numbers are expressed in figures except for the house number
"One". No commas are used when separating digits in house numbers. Apartment
numbers, suite numbers, box numbers and rural route numbers are expressed in
figure form. Addresses of churches, clubs or public buildings are usually
omitted because such addresses are public knowledge and generally well
known. However, a street address may be shown below the name of the church
or club if such an address is considered necessary for clear direction.
Free Addressing Guide
You will receive a free Envelope Addressing Guide with every
invitation order, which also includes instructions for folding and inserting
your invitations as our way of saying "Thank you".
Postage
Depending on the number of enclosures and the size and weight of
your invitation, extra postage may be needed. Bring one of your invitation
ensembles (including all
enclosures) to your local Post Office so they can tell you how much postage
is required. Be sure to ask to see their selection of decorative stamps for
your invitation and
response envelopes.
Wedding Invitations Envelopes Seals
Envelope Seals are placed on the outer envelope flap to give your
invitation a more attractive appearance.
Reception Cards
This card is enclosed with the Invitation to show the time and
place of the reception. The Reception Card is inserted with the Invitation
into the inner envelope.
Response Cards with Printed Return Address Envelopes
This card is enclosed with the Invitation so that you can finalize
reception arrangements and provide for all who plan to attend. It is a nice
and convenient way for guests to reply. The Return Envelope is printed with
the address of the person(s) issuing the invitation. The printed Return
Envelope is included in the price of the Respond Cards.
Wedding Invitation Direction and Map Cards
The Direction Card, which is enclosed with the Invitation, is a
thoughtful and practical way to be sure your guests arrive at the correct
location for your ceremony or reception. This card is enclosed with the
invitation. No envelopes are required. If further directions are needed, a
map may be necessary.
New Address Cards
Sometimes referred to as At Home Cards, these cards may be enclosed
with Wedding Invitations or Announcements or mailed separately after the
wedding. If you choose to include your New Address Card with your Invitation
and are planning to change your name, it is not proper to use your married
name. When mailed after the ceremony, this card may also be used to express
the name preference of the bride. Single envelopes are included. We oftern
recommend putting this information on a reception card if you want
the paper stock to match your invitation ensemble.
Wedding Announcements
The Wedding Announcement is sent to those who have not been invited
to the wedding. Announcements can be the same as your Invitations in terms
of design, ink color and lettering. Any Invitation in this album may be used
as a Wedding Announcement. Announcements may be sent to friends or relatives
who live far away, old friends
who have been out of contact with the bride and groom, business associates
and friends who cannot be included because of limited space or resources.
Announcements are usually addressed beforehand and mailed immediately after
the wedding.
Thank You
Notes and Informal Personal Notes
The Informal Personal Note may be personalized with the names of
the Bride and Groom, the Bride's name only or a monogram. They are perfect
for a personal thank you and for many other occasions when a brief
correspondence is necessary. We can print the words "Thank You" on any
Informal Personal Note, using the same elegant raised lettering and ink
color as your invitation. Informal Personal Notes and Thank You Notes come
with a matching envelope. Your return address may be printed in raised
letters on the envelope flap for a slight additional charge.
Church Pew Cards
To ensure reserved seating for your special guests within the front
ribboned pews, we suggest the use of Church Pew Cards. This card is enclosed
with your Invitation. No envelopes are required. Guests should hand this
card to the usher when being seated
Mother and Father LIVING
Use Conventional Invitation Format as Follows:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks
on Saturday, the eighth of June
two thousand and eighteen
at four o'clock in the afternoon
Saint Ann Church
Richmond, Virginia
If the Wedding is held at the Home of a friend,
substitute in place of Church
the following wording:
...at the residence of
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Carl Powell
875 Baker Street
Richmond, Virginia
Mother or Father DECEASED
and Living Parent has NOT REMARRIED
MOTHER Issuing Invitation:
Mrs. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Kimberly Ann
to Mr. Paul David Brooks
FATHER Issuing Invitation:
Mr. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Kimberly Ann
to Mr. Paul David Brooks
Mother or Father DECEASED
and Living Parent has REMARRIED
MOTHER REMARRIED Issuing Invitation
using her Present Husband's name:
Mr. and Mrs. Carl Spencer
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Kimberly Ann Williams
to Mr. Paul David Brooks
FATHER REMARRIED Issuing Invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks
(In either of these cases, if the Bride is close
to her stepparent, the phrase
"at the marriage of their daughter" is acceptable.)
Mother and Father DECEASED
and Brother or Sister issues Invitation
Mr. and Mrs. Terrence Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his sister
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks
or
Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Kelley
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her sister
Kimberly Ann Williams
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks
BRIDE'S Parents and GROOM'S
Parents issuing Invitation
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
and
Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Brooks
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Kimberly Ann
and Paul David
BRIDE and GROOM issuing
OWN Invitation
Miss Kimberly Ann Williams
and
Mr. Paul David Brooks
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage
The word "Ms." may be substituted for "Miss".
DIVORCED Parents issuing Invitation
DIVORCED Mother's Invitation:
Mrs. Stephanie Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks
DIVORCED Father's Invitation:
Mr. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks
DIVORCED Parents Both Issuing Invitation:
Mrs. Stephanie Williams
and
Mr. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks
SECOND MARRIAGES
Invitations to the marriage of a young divorcee or
widow do not differ from those of a first marriage
except that the Bride's married name and her title may be used:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Ms. Kimberly Ann Williams Smith
to Mr. Paul David Brooks
GROOM'S FAMILY Issuing Invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Brooks
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Miss Kimberly Ann Williams
to their son
Mr. Paul David Brooks
Either "Miss" or "Ms." are used when the
sponsors of the wedding are not relatives.
DOUBLE WEDDINGS
When Brides are SISTERS:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughters
Kimberly Ann
to Mr. Paul David Brooks
and
Jenna Elaine
to
Dr. Timothy Lee Andrews
When Brides are NOT SISTERS:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
and Mr. and Mrs. Frank Moreland
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughters
Kimberly Ann Williams
to Mr. Paul David Brooks
and
Lauren Renee Moreland
to
Mr. Christian Robert Stewart
RECEPTION Invitation
Issued when Ceremony is PRIVATE:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception of their daughter
Kimberly Ann
and
Mr. Paul David Brooks
Saturday, the eighth of June
two thousand and eighteen
at six o'clock in the evening
The Riverside Inn
Richmond, Virginia
Correct Use of Military Rank on Wedding Invitations
NAVY
ENSIGN and HIGHER RANK:
to
Paul David Brooks
Ensign, United States Navy
PETTY OFFICER and SEAMEN:
to
Paul David Brooks
United States Navy
ARMY, AIR FORCE AND MARINES
CAPTAIN or HIGHER RANK:
to
Captain Paul David Brooks
United States Army
LIEUTENANT:
to
Paul David Brooks
Lieutenant, United States Army
NON-COMS and PRIVATES:
to
Paul David Brooks
United States Army
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